Hockey Zombie: Two Terrible Tastes That Taste Terribler Together

What do you get when you take a regular webcomic and give it a shitty writer? Well a lot of webcomics come out of that formula, I suppose, but one result is Hockey Zombie, a comic which combines zombies (on which my views have already been expressed) and hockey (on which my views don't need to be expressed because hockey is a dumb sport played by Canadians who can't be bothered to play something resembling a real sport. Chris van Gompel decided to combine these two atrocities in some sick, twisted effort to create the biggest atrocity in the history of atrocities.

Hockey Zombie has so many terrible strips it is hard to know where to begin. I guess blatant racism would be a good start, though. HZ also qualifies as a gamer comic. Heh. Portal. Unfortunately, most of the game comics don't require the game reference at all. Others are just plain disgusting. Some are both. None are good.

Van Gompel likes to think himself as some great crusader for Internet Justice. By jumping on the bandwagons of hating e-famous villains, he obviously hopes to pull in more readers and gain e-fame himself. Not so sadly, no amount of hatred bandwagoning will make Hockey Zombie popular, and maybe van Gompel should just focus on making shitty comics without a political agenda.

Another failed attempt at garnering e-glory can be seen in Hockey Zombie's technically annual Shark Week, where van Gompel rotoscopes some fucking sharks and puts retarded words in their mouths. The sharks always look terrible, and the jokes never take advantage of the sharks. Effectively it's a dumb, half-assed gimmick that doesn't accomplish anything.

The thing about Hockey Zombie is that it started out as a serial with a really dumb plot. However, as time progressed the comic was interrupted by more and more one-off pages, and pretty soon the "plot" was forgotten. That's okay, it was terrible. It was just a bunch of zombie jokes that have been told an infinite number of times until they got so old that they were in a nursing home when John McCain was born. But what it was replaced with was a terrible amalgamation of awful gimmicks and shitty cheap gags.