F Chords: A Twelve String Guitar With Only Six Strings

Until now, I have only discussed nobodies in the Wide World of Webcomics; this is intentional, of course, I had no desire to jump on the bandwagon of hating the popular kids for instant street cred. But now I'm ready to take on the Big Leagues, and since Kris Straub recently debuted F Chords (A Niche Comic for Musicians), I decided it was a good target to take on.

Niche Comics are any comic which appeals to a small group of people based on the subject matter (i.e. Beetle Bailey for anyone whose been in the Army, Garfield for anyone who owns a cat, or any Gamer Comic ever), and are inherently terrible because of this fact. After all, the best jokes are ones that everyone can understand, just like the best characters are ones that remind more people of themselves or people they know. This is why I like Batman, I know like 6 guys that are just like him.

F Chords features two hyperdorks who, naturally, have their own band where they play obscure melodies from an obscure genre. In addition to their atrocious hobby, they also work making terrible music that no one will enjoy or pay attention to. Essentially it's the basic "Two buddies trying to do what they love but sucking miserably at it" scenario, one of the staples of shitty webcomics.

Though it has many faults, the comic introduces the central conflict early: Ash (the hairy one) has a thing for Jackie Chin, Queen of Faux Punk, but Best Buddy Wade (the Vin Diesel wannabe) doesn't like her because she recognizes that he is, in fact, a meganerd. Of course, Wade doesn't really need to cockblock his buddy, since once Ash takes his galpal to his home at an Assisted Living Center, she'll be so turned off that she'll become a nun. Sadly, this conflict hasn't gone anywhere since it started, and has ceased to be a promising source of character development.

Being a Niche Comic, F Chords doesn't stand much of a chance of gaining popularity outside of garage bands and music teachers. By limiting the scope of the comic, Straub is effectively alienating the fans that he might have brought over from his other endeavors, since no matter how well he writes the jokes, as long as they're about music, no one will want to read them. Kris Straub is known for producing some of the best webcomics out there, but it might be time to play Taps for F Chords.