Mission Statements, My Ego, and a Third Noun to Justify My Insatiable Love for Commas.

Well, it appears that Anti-Snark blew up well before its time. Since it did so, as I figured would be the case, many people have been quick to judge it without realizing what it is. I'm not going to tell you what it is, because quite frankly, I have no idea. I basically just start writing after I decide on a topic, and run with it. I'm an attention whore, and while my writing might not contain an iota of logic, authority, or professional writing training, but what I do think about when writing is how to piss off a lot of people. And writing a negative review of something I've never read is one sure way to do that.

Trolling (or, as Matt Wilson calls it--and I prefer this term as well--Pissing Faggots Off) requires knowing one's audience to know just how to press their buttons. The idea behind it is simple--say something designed to irritate your audience, but not so blatant or obscene as to trigger the automatic "ignore" response. The best part about the Internet is that people are much more likely to get incensed for some reason I haven't quite deduced yet. I reckon it is probably just a way for them to channel their rage at the guy who's dating the girl they like. No one's studied the Internet geek to date, most likely due to the smell.

Anti-snark isn't about trolling, though. At least, not entirely. If it were, there'd be no point. I genuinely love several webcomics, but I'll probably anti-snark them at some point. Mostly because there needs to be some sort of cosmic balancing against the whiny emo Apple jerkoff who praises every comic that gives him even the tiniest tingly feeling in his pelvis. Just be thankful that I don't feel the need to mention I'm running Windows XP every time I write an article, or mention every webcartoonist I converse with, who only allow me to do so simply because I kissed their ass a few times and continue to do so. Everyone knows people who use the Internet regularly (including webcartoonists) have low self-esteem, so throwing a short ton of praise for the most minute amount of talent can earn you a lot of face.

Webcomics aren't an art form. They're not even close. Print comics aren't even an art form. Show me a strip of B.C. in the National Gallery of Art and I'll eat my hat. Comic strips are the utilization of artistic talent for commercial purposes. Webcomics are the same thing, but more open to amateurs. And there are a lot of amateurs. But simply because you do something for the mere love of doing it doesn't make it an art form. It shouldn't be treated as an art form. Scott McCloud is an idiot. Infinite Canvas is a horrible idea.

Webcomics are a business, like Stand-Up Comedy and Bulldozing. This goes back to last week's article about BLC. It is BAD that they are unappealing to me, and not making me want to read their comics. The more bland they are, the less likely I am to enjoy their product. Infinite Canvas is extremely unattractive to anyone but pretentious art dweebs, and is pretty much annoying with no real increase to the entertainment value. That's high cost with zero reward.

And of course, Dr. Snark goes on and on about some Tarquin shit that dumbs down flash to make Infinite Canvas comics more accessible. WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU WANT THIS?! It is detrimental to both Flash and the webcomic industry, by making Infinite Canvas even more retarded. And then the genius goes so far as to claim this "gives Flash something legitimate to do." Now I'm no fancy big-city lawyer, but wasn't Flash already legitimate before? What with (well-designed) ads, webtoons, and games, I always assumed the development of Flash had already been justified. But not to Eric Burns! Webcomics is the only application for any web-centric tool.

I read through a few of the examples that were given, and I'll just say I hated them. I hated having to click every time I wanted to advance to the next panel. The comics in and of themselves weren't very good. They had no point, other than some pretentious artistic ego stroking. That's what majoring in Philosophy will get you. The ability to make horrendous comics that go nowhere, have no entertainment value, and take forever to read. And the use of Flash just made them more so.

Of course, Burns, being the self-proclaimed webcomics fellator, gives the forsaken child of Flash and Infinite Canvas his praise. Because now it is easier for everyone to create and be subject to tons of pretentiously horrendous crap.

My only regret is that I couldn't have made fun of the crap he wrote on Monday in a more timely manner.