HalfPixel.com: The Evil Webcomics Empire

For as long as there has been money, there has been a desire in the common man to earn money the quick and easy way. And as long as there has been this desire in people, there have been Snake Oil Salesmen and Pyramid Schemists to take what little money the unsuspecting public has to offer, in exchange for the promises of making a lot of money in the future. When it comes to Webcomics, no one can give a definite formula for making a webcomic into a reliable and sufficient source of revenue, because so few have done it. Many may claim to do so, but one can hardly take a webcartoonist at his word. And the unfortunate thing about webcomics is the unnaturally high number of gullible dunderheads in the field, providing a high demand for snake oil.

HalfPixel.com is a webcomics community built around the concept that four guys know more about webcomics than any normal person should. Scott Kurtz, Kris Straub, Dave Kellet and Brad Guigar have pooled their knowledge of webcomics in order to master the science of webcomicology. Together, they impart their wisdom upon their proud (and paying) constituents through a variety of media. In this way they feel they can control the fate of webcomics like a team of cunning despots. It's like if Robert Mugabe, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Il, and the late Saddam Hussein combined together to control webcomics, and then employed the talents of Kris Straub, Dave Kellet, and Brad Guigar.

On the low end of the despotic spectrum, HalfPixel features a forum designed around pointing out strengths and flaws of webcomics so others can emulate the 'good' and avoid the 'bad.' By regulating the discourse, however, HalfPixel can influence what is perceived as good and bad to fit their model of what webcomics should be. Due to the availability of anonymity on the E-Zone, the HalfPixel despots can take on any number of assumed identities to direct the discussion if they need to. Dissenters can be easily quashed through the deletion of posts, accounts, and even banning IPs. Conflicting rules are given, and only enforced when it's to the benefit of the HalfPixel dictators. I give this 4 Iron Fists out of 5.

The other basic tool used to rule the domain of webcomics is a book written by the four tyrants titled How to Make Webcomics. With such a straightforward title as that, it surely must be at least a decent resource for aspiring webcartoonists, right? Sure, if you want to be brainwashed into doing everything the HalfPixel way. Unfortunately when looking at the selection of books about webcomics, one might feel underwhelmed. After all, compared to Scott McCloud's Reinventing Comics, the HalfPixel book might seem to at least fall within the realm of sanity and sensibility, but then again, a plain ol' suicide cult might seem sensible compared to the Church of Scientology.

A book has certain qualities that make it an excellent tool for imposing one's beliefs onto other people. First, it makes people feel smart when they read books instead of watching television. As a result they lower their guard against things which are obviously stupid or otherwise scams. This is why you see a lot of people who think that Lord of the Rings was a literary masterpiece. Second, it's a lot easier to take a book into the bathroom as opposed to other forms of media. Giving people an opportunity to multitask in such a manner makes them much more receptive to your zany ideas than simple veracity. Last, a book costs money, and if something is paid for, the consumer will try to delude themselves into believing that whatever inside is worth the price paid. Ultimately one can only imagine the kind of mind warping practices those HalfPixel guys are telling young webcomickers to do, but I can only imagine it is disturbingly sick and also twisted. I'll never know, since I don't have money to spend on frivolous things such as books. 5 Iron Fists out of 5.

The intelligent cult leader knows to wrap the core of crazy in layers of less crazy. Slowly bring in new followers through the outer layers until they reach the core, and are finally willing to adhere to the inane tenets of your despotic rule. Guiding potential dictatees to your realm of tyranny is easily accomplished by HalfPixel with the use of a podcast known as "Webcomics Weekly." The short, simple title hides the deep, calculating deception that goes into such a webshow. The four hosts strangely share the same voice, the only discernable difference being the recording quality of each contributor. This gives the entire production a hypnotic quality, since it becomes difficult to distinguish one speaker from another and it eventually begins to sound like one person talking four different ways. In this state of hypnosis, the listener is much more open to suggestion, so HalfPixel can easily implant their ideas into the listener's brain, or bring them further into the fold with such suggestions as "post in the forum" or "buy the book." 7 Iron Fists out of 5.

The final layer to HalfPixel's Evil Empire scheme was added only recently. A few months ago the webcomics.com domain went up for sale. Recently the domain was "acquired" by the HalfPixel team and it now serves as an alternate site for their 'services' and acts like a distribution center for the despotism. What's worse is it's presented as an open hub of webcomic advice and discussion. This tactic is designed to give a positive impression of the program, and only when the unsuspecting prey has wandered further into the claws of HalfPixel will the fist of tyranny close around them.

The reason this is such a diabolical move is in the domain name itself. If you're looking for webcomics, of course the first thought that might pop into your mind is typing Webcomics.com into the address bar, much like if you're looking for pornography, you'd type sex.com into the field. The reader is then directed to a variety of HalfPixel essays, podcasts, forums and books, all designed to drag them in deeper. This variation of skullduggery is despicable, and I'm sure there exists some circle of Hell just for domain abusers.

Another problem is the fact that the webcomics.com hub is the same concept as other websites that already exist. The user-submitted essays, reviews, and such smack of the same kind of features found on Ben Gordon's Psychedelic Treehouse. We don't need an identical concept competing with this amateur site, only providing a simpler URL, better site design, planned-out features, and name recognition, just to spout their opinions as fact. It would have been significantly less reprehensible if the webcomics.com domain had been used for something much more beneficial to the webcomics community, like a webcomic logo gallery. Domain Exploitation ranks 9 Iron Fists out of 5.

Ultimately, no one can claim to have a universal answer to webcomicking, because each situation is unique, and should be judged on its individual merits. That way, I can say they're all terrible for different, often conflicting reasons, and still be right. So when someone tries to sell your webcomic the Snake Oil of Success, turn them down, because you'll just be getting sucked into a world of cult fanaticism and soulless corporate cartooning, not unlike the current state of Garfield (the cat, not the former President). Fight the power, my brothers, for we are the resistance against the Evil Empire.